Day 258: The Second Pizza of Freedom
RULE 6: NEVER EXPECT AN APOLOGYI woke up before dawn to find that my guard had gone. I went for a walk around the station – it was empty. I…
Day 257: You’re Free But You Can’t Leave
RULE 5: AVOID AFRICAI’m sorry. I’ve cracked. The wars (all 47 of them, want a list?) may be over (kinda) and I was desperate to blaze a trail from Rabat…
Day 256: The Horror, The Horror
RULE 4: VOGONS ARE UNFEASIBLY STUPIDYou cannot reason somebody out of a position they haven’t reasoned themselves into. Appealing to my captors on the logical grounds that I was a…
Day 255: The Heart of Darkness
RULE 3: VOGONS HAVE NO EMPATHY“The only way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down their throat”.- Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To…
Day 254: The Saddest Song In The World
RULE 2: NEVER TRUST A VOGONI awoke on the little couch in the ‘chief’s’ office. Gone was any chance of me submitting my visa application for Angola this week. Max…
Day 253: The Last Thing I Needed
"Vogons have to be just about one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy. Not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger…
Day 159: Habeas Corpus
On Monday morning, Captain Mbeye and I were taken away with four others. We (typically) weren't told were they were taking us, but it turned out to be the courthouse,…
Day 158: It Gets Worse
I would find out later that my parents sussed out where I was being held and spent all day yesterday trying to phone me, but it wasn't until my fifth…
Day 157: The Call
We had now hit the fourth day of my illegal incarceration on the island of Santiago. I had been held beyond the 24-hour limit of Habeas Corpus, and even beyond…
Day 156: There’s No Night Out In The Jail
I felt like one of the ‘victims' of the Milgram experiment. Only I wasn't pretending. I was given no change of clothes, there was no shower and by now it…