Days 1,066-1,067: The Canary in The Coal Mine
02.12.11-03.12.11: Meet Tuvalu, the modern day Atlantis. If anyone fancies their chances taking on my Guinness World Record, you better get your skates on because
Day 1,068-1,070: My Lucky Underpants
04.12.11-06.12.11: The less said about Sunday, the better. Hangovers are not something I tremendously suffer from unless a) I drink more than my bodyweight in
Days 1,071-1,073: Futuna and Glory, Kid
07.12.11-09.12.11: We left Wallis in the afternoon and headed for the other island of Wallis and Futuna: Futuna! We arrived at Dawn’s crack the next
Day 1,074: Alofa Tuvalu!
10.12.11: So then back to Tuvalu to pick up those containers we left here last weekend. This all reminds me of a riddle involving taking
Day 1,075: The Big Seven-Five
11.12.11: An early departure saw us clear Funafuti’s lagoooooon by 8am and once more we long afloat on shipless oceans. I did all my best
Day 1,076: Business In Great Waters
12.12.11: We’re at sea, so now’s a good time to give you some sort of timetable of my movements over the next few months. It’s
Day 1,077: It’s Tuesday, It Must Be Kiribati
13.12.11: The first and most important thing you should know about Kiribati is that the people of Kiribati, the I-Kiribati, pronounce ‘ti’ as ‘s’. Therefore,
Day 1,078: Kiss My Rusty Kiribati
14.12.11: My second day on Kiribati’s main atoll of Tawara started slowly. After having to wait an hour or so for the barge to be
Day 1,080: A Hitch In Time
16.12.11: Christopher Hitchens died yesterday. Bugger. Unlike the deaths of John Peel or Douglas Adams, it didn’t come as a shock: it was no secret
Day 1,081: BOOM! The Marshalls!
17.12.11: When standing for election in for Manchester University Student’s Union back in the late 90s, you were not allowed to have your name appear
Day 1,082: There And Back Again
18.12.11: The hard part done, the crew of The Southern Pearl could now afford to let their hair down for the five day sail back down
Day 1,083: How To Write A Blockbuster – Part I
19.12.11: I’ve been spending my days and nights (mostly nights) on board the good ship Southern Pearl practicing the ancient art of writing. I’ve been
Day 1,084: How To Write A Blockbuster – Part II
20.12.11: The Premise First up, work out the basic premise in your head. Don’t worry about making it all make sense just yet, just worry
Day 1,085: How To Write A Blockbuster – Part III
21.12.11: The Re-writes Begin… There are certain rules you have to stick to in order to write a successful movie script. If you would prefer
Day 1,086: How To Write A Blockbuster – Part IV
22.12.11: Antagonists This is the easy bit. Your antagonist could be a rival news anchor, a monster from the black lagoon or the protagonist’s own
VIDEO: How To Travel The World On The Cheap
Here’s me with my top twenty tips to help you GET OUT THERE AND SEE THE WORLD without spending a fortune:
Day 1,087: Suva Ascending
23.12.11: The good ship Southern Pearl arrived in Suva on last night. However, since we had been to Wallis and there’s a particular breed of
Days 1,088–1,089: A Very Fiji Christmas
24.12.11-25.12.11: Wiping the hangover from my forehead, I exited my bed in a manner reminiscent of a slinky going down the stairs. It was 11.15am.
Days 1,090-1,091: The Fijian Chief
26.12.11-27.12.11: Boxing Day was a long, lazy day, but one in which I learnt an important life lesson: if you’re in a small swimming pool
Day 1,092: The Cannibal King
28.12.11: It was just after 9am when I said my fond farewells to Sandy’s mum and the village of Buda Levu. I jumped the bus
Days 1,093-1,094: Ed’s Bar
29.12.11-30.12.11: Since you can’t wear clothes for more than a day in Fiji without them turning into sweat rags, I had thrown my togs in
Day 1,095: 2011, In Memoriam
31.12.11: I was looking to do something with some of the people I met last month for New Year, but all of them had either
Day 1,096: Happy Last Year (Of The Odyssey)!
Sun 01.01.12: Hurrah! 2012 at last! And might I say GOOD RIDDANCE to all that horrible 2011 malarkey. Yuck. Never going back there again. I
Days 1,097-1,098: The Last Nights of Suva
Mon 02.01.12 – Tue 03.01.12: Last night I went to the cinema to watch Mission Impossible 4, which I have to say is by far
Days 1,099-1,100: The Southern Lily 2
Wed 04.01.12 – Thu 05.01.12: High noon in Suva saw me bundle myself out of the South Seas hostel and off to the Trans Am
Day 1,101: Yo-Ho-Ho And A Bottle of Rum
Fri 06.01.12: We reached Apia, the capital of Samoa, on Friday afternoon. Like Fiji, Samoa is in the clutches of the rainy season, but I
Day 1,102: Treasured Island
Sat 07.01.12: Samoa! What an awesome place! Captain Andriy had me up at 10am to head over to Valima, the home of the great Scottish
Day 1,103: A Tale of Two Sundays
Sun 08.01.12: As the good ship Southern Lily 2 was scheduled to be leaving Apia in the wee small hours I left my passport in
Day 1,104: This is Yesterday
Sun 08.01.12: Yesterday was Sunday 8 January 2012. Last night I went to bed and got I good night’s sleep. This morning I awoke to
Days 1,105-1,106: The Friendly Islands
Mon 09.01.12 – Wed 11.01.12: After quite literally skipping Tuesday, we arrived in the port of Nuku’alofa in the Island Nation of Tonga two days
Days 1,107-1,110: Towards The Long White Cloud
Thu 12.01.12 – Sun 15.01.12: The ship was due to leave Tonga at midday, so I made good use of the morning looking for some
Days 1,111-1,112: The Mandster Cometh
Mon 16.01.12 – Tue 17.01.12: Mandy, my long suffering girlfriend, had arranged to fly over and meet me in Auckland around 4pm today. By that
Day 1,113: In A Hole In The Ground There Lived A Hobbit
Wed 18.01.12: And so it came to pass that Graham and Mandy picked up a hire car (it’s a legal move so long as I
Day 1,114: Gushing Meadows
Thu 19.01.12: So then, Rotorua, I’ve missed you for a decade, but you’re still not smelling no sweeter. You see, New Zealand is SLAP BANG
Days 1,115-1,117: High Tea in Mordor
Fri 20.01.12 – Sun 22.01.12: Lake Taupo is one of those must-see sights in New Zealand, and it’s not hard to see why. Situated slap
Day 1,118: Fly, You Fools!
Mon 23.01.12: Got up nice and early in order to move the car off the street before the Monday morning Wellington parking regs kicked in
Day 1,119: Architecture’s Last Hurrah
Tue 24.01.12: Up early and it was ta-ta Wellington (I’d be returning next week sans Mandy) and yey off to Napier! Napier is a seaside
Days 1,120-1,122: All Good Things
Wed 25.01.12 – Fri 27.01.12: Mand was supposed to be joining me on my FREE cruise back to Australia, but she couldn’t get the time
Day 1,123: The Sea Princess
Sat 28.01.12: So let’s go. The ship leaves today for Australia in a roundabout kinda way. Why the hell am I going back to Australia?
Days 1,124-1,126: Taumata-whakatangihangakoauauo-tamateaturipukakapikimaunga-horonukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu
Sun 29.01.12 – Tue 31.01.12: Sunday morning and The Sea Princess arrived in the rather lovely port of Tauranga (pronounced Toe-ronga). I had a bit
Days 1,127-1,128: The Auld Alliance
Wed 01.02.12-Thu 02.02.12: Christchurch is not somewhere for holidaying at the moment, and since the major earthquake last year, cruise ships have been calling at
Days 1,129-1,131: Three Sheets To The Wind
Fri 03.02.12 – Sun 05.02.12: Friday took us around the Southern Cape of South Island and along the majestic Fjords of the incorrectly-spelt Fiordland National