Day 258: The Second Pizza of Freedom
15.09.09: RULE 6: NEVER EXPECT AN APOLOGY I woke up before dawn to find that my guard had gone. I went for a walk around the station – it was…
Day 257: You’re Free But You Can’t Leave
14.09.09: RULE 5: AVOID AFRICA I’m sorry. I’ve cracked. The wars (all 47 of them, want a list?) may be over (kinda) and I was desperate to blaze a trail…
Day 256: The Horror, The Horror
13.09.09: RULE 4: VOGONS ARE UNFEASIBLY STUPID You cannot reason somebody out of a position they haven’t reasoned themselves into. Appealing to my captors on the logical grounds that I…
Day 255: The Heart of Darkness
12.09.09: RULE 3: VOGONS HAVE NO EMPATHY “The only way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down their throat”. - Douglas Adams, The…
Day 254: The Saddest Song In The World
11.09.09: RULE 2: NEVER TRUST A VOGON I awoke on the little couch in the ‘chief’s’ office. Gone was any chance of me submitting my visa application for Angola this…
Day 253: The Last Thing I Needed
10.09.09: Let me tell you about Vogons. "Vogons have to be just about one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy. Not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and…
Day 159: Show Me The Body
08.09.09: On Monday morning, Captain Mbeye and I were taken away with four others. We (typically) weren't told were they were taking us, but it turned out to be the…
Day 158: The Cack Monster
07.06.09: I would find out later that my parents sussed out where I was being held and spent all day yesterday trying to phone me, but it wasn't until my…
Day 157: Thank GOD!
06.06.09: We had now hit the fourth day of my illegal incarceration on the island of Santiago. I had been held beyond the 24-hour limit of Habeas Corpus, and even…
Day 156: The Crying Game
05.06.09: I felt like one of the ‘victims' of the Milgram experiment. Only I wasn't pretending. I was given no change of clothes, there was no shower and by now…