Day 259: England Expects
First thing, I headed off to Kinshasa over the River Congo, escorted on and off the boat by British Embassy Officials. I’m taking no chances. Now in Kinshasa – “The…
Day 258: The Second Pizza of Freedom
RULE 6: NEVER EXPECT AN APOLOGYI woke up before dawn to find that my guard had gone. I went for a walk around the station – it was empty. I…
Day 257: You’re Free But You Can’t Leave
RULE 5: AVOID AFRICAI’m sorry. I’ve cracked. The wars (all 47 of them, want a list?) may be over (kinda) and I was desperate to blaze a trail from Rabat…
Day 256: The Horror, The Horror
RULE 4: VOGONS ARE UNFEASIBLY STUPIDYou cannot reason somebody out of a position they haven’t reasoned themselves into. Appealing to my captors on the logical grounds that I was a…
Day 255: The Heart of Darkness
RULE 3: VOGONS HAVE NO EMPATHY“The only way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down their throat”.- Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide To…
Day 254: The Saddest Song In The World
RULE 2: NEVER TRUST A VOGONI awoke on the little couch in the ‘chief’s’ office. Gone was any chance of me submitting my visa application for Angola this week. Max…
Day 253: The Last Thing I Needed
"Vogons have to be just about one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy. Not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger…
Day 252: Exit Planet Dust
Setting off again at dawn, I found the shared truck for Dolisie (the junction half way to Congo’s capital city, Brazzaville) actually left early. I had to run to clamber…
Day 251: The Overlander
In a trend that will no doubt continue for the rest of the month, I got up at 5am only to find that there was no transport to the Congo…